Make a
beeline straight to the Kremlin- and hide
Take a
shower! (6 weeks in an airport- ew!)Grab a bottle of top-shelf Russian vodka- and have 7 or 8 shots!
Call the
Russian mob and ask them to be your body guards for the next year
Score hot
Russian girlfriend by using the line: I just pissed-off the leader of the free
world- I heard women like dangerous men- let’s do dinner.
Get job at
McDonalds in Moscow, replace lame Happy Meal toy with NSA spying secrets
Start new
MySpace page to reveal all that he has learned about the NSA- it’s totally
secure- no one will EVER think to go there.
Get a
t-shirt printed that says: Don’t Stand Near Me, I’m Being Filmed
Using his
NSA information, every time he logs on to surf Internet porn, he changes his IP
address to that of Janet Napolitano.
Drunk text
Obama a photo of him flippin’ the bird with a caption that reads: And that’s
how we roll in the 011-7-495 Yo!
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